Be The Woman You Needed When You Were Younger.

A Letter to the Woman I Was Becoming.

No membership? Read here for free!

My younger self,

I think about you more often than you'd imagine.

I see you in quiet moments, in the way you overthink, in the way you try so hard to be understood, and how you carry your heart so softly, even when the world feels anything but gentle in return. You were always trying to find your perfect place, wondering if you were enough, questioning yourself if you were doing life "right."

I wish I could sit beside you for a while and I'd just hold your hand and tell you this:

You were never as lost as you felt. You were searching and there's a difference between the two.

I know how much you wanted to be loved, to be seen, to be chosen. But what you didn't realize then is that the kind of love you were chasing in people was something only Allah could give you so completely.

You'll learn this, slowly. Not all at once, you will learn through tears, sometimes through heartbreak but you will surely learn that loving Him first before anything or anyone will always steady everything else in your life. That no one but Him is worthy of giving out your heart to.

There will be days when your faith feels heavy, when prayer feels more like obligation than comfort. But stay. Keep coming back. One day, you'll understand that those quiet moments in prayer, the ones you almost rushed through were actually where your heart was being held together.

You don't have to be perfect.

I know you are self-conscious; you worry about how others see you. You shrink yourself sometimes, hoping to fit into places that were never meant for you.

But listen to me carefully: you don't need to chase anyone's approval. The world will always have their opinions, and they will change like the wind.

Anchor yourself in something higher. Live for Allah's pleasure, seek His guidance and you will find a peace that you could never find elsewhere.

And about your softness? Oh please, don't lever lose it.

There will be moments when you'll want to harden your heart, when kindness will feel like a risk in this cruel world.

But your gentleness is not a weakness. It never was and never will be. Rather, its strength in its purest form.

Choosing kind words when you're hurting, choosing patience when it could have been easier to react, choosing forgiveness over holding a grudge. That is a kind of power, a strength that not everyone holds in this life.

But you are allowed to cry, you know.

Those nights when everything feels like too much, when you're all alone and your chest feels tight, your thoughts won't slow down, allow yourself to fall into sujood on your knees and let it all out infront of Him. You don't have to hold it together all the time. There is a deep resilience in surrendering when you know who to return to.

And when you rise again, and you will In Sha Allah, just know that you are stronger for it.

I wish you could see how much you'd grow into the woman you dream of becoming. How you begin to understand that life isn't just about one path but it's living two paths in one. You will become a woman who seeks balance.

One who values both her deen and her dunya, who strives for righteous knowledge, growth, and excellence in all areas of her life.

You will also earn that true faith is not separate from living in this Dunya, but it is instead, woven into every action you perform, behind every intention and every decision you make.

You'll also learn something that might feel uncomfortable at first: boundaries.

You'll learn to say 'no' without guilt or shame. To walk away without explaining yourself over and over again. To protect your inner peace of mind, not because you've become cold, but because you've finally understood your worth.

And I will always be so proud of you for that.

There will also come a time where you feel behind or left out, when it seems as if everyone else is moving faster, achieving so much more than you are, becoming something you're not yet.

But it's important that you remind yourself in those moments that your journey was yours to live, it was never meant to look like theirs. You weren't sent here in this world to sit and compare yourself with others.

Allah already has a beautiful plan laid out for you.

What matters is you never stop to grow, even if it's slow. That you take your time but remain consistent to achieve all that you wish to. That you keep trying no matter what.

Because that's what makes you beautiful, not perfection, but effort. The way you keep returning no matter how many times you fall. The way you keep believing in Him and His plans for you, even when it's hard and you feel doubtful.

If I could leave you with one thing, it would be to remind you that, you are becoming the woman you once needed.

And one day, quietly, without even realizing when it happened you'll look back at this version of yourself.

The one who is reading this right now who still seems unsure, still healing within, and still trying to make sense of everything she feels so deeply.

The one who wonders if she's falling behind, or if she'll ever become who she hopes to be.

But one day when you look back at her, it won't be with judgment or regret.

It will be with a softness you didn't know you were capable of. With a kind of love that understands every tear she cried, every silent battle she fought, and all those moments she chose to keep going when it would have been easier to give up.

You'll see her for what she truly was, not lost or weak but trying. Bravely, quietly, relentlessly trying.

And your heart will fill with compassion for her. Because she carried so much yet still chose to move forward.

So, until that day comes, be gentle with yourself.

Hold space for your own growth. Forgive yourself for the days you feel like you're not enough and remind yourself that growth was never meant to be perfect, it was meant to be real.

You are not behind or failing. You are in the middle of becoming something special that Allah had willed you to be.

Even now, in ways you cannot see yet, you are already doing much better than you think.

With love, The woman you are becoming.

📌 This story is published under Quirky Rants - a home for unfiltered thoughts, everyday oddities, and real, relatable voices. Want to share your story too? Join us here.